I'm going in search of a crunchie. Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday.

One of my friends just died, aged 23.

When does this end? Does this ever end? I'm so miserable. Everytime things start to look up, it all goes to shit again. I feel like my life is becoming a soap opera.

This isn't fair, how much more can go wrong? How much more am I supposed to take before I break?


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I had wrote a long thing about everything. But no one needs to hear this whiney crap. I hope everyone is well and having happy times.

Well it has been a hell of a week. I am glad we are back to Monday again, new week, new start. My Grandads death certificate was finally release with a ridiculous cause of death which none of us believed. But, it meant we could hold the funeral last Thursday, the day before my birthday.

Thursday itself was a miserable day. After three weeks of glorious sunshine since my Grandad died, this odd foggy mist descended and it was generally horrible. Somewhat fitting I thought. I travelled in the funeral car to the funeral, which meant immedicately everyone knew who I was when I arrived at the cemetry. I was amazed, I think we all were, at how many people came. There were at least sixty, possibly more. We got loads of flowers, and money towards the charity we had chosen. Its nice to know he was so well loved, we just all wish it didnt have to come to this. It was a hard day for us all. There would be a moment when you'd laugh, then someone would ask if you were okay and you'd break down into tears again. I also managed to truly embarass myself by actually sobbing, not even crying. Ack.

Anyway, the day continued being rubbish with yet more bad news. But I wont go into that because its worse for other people than me, and I will let them blog about it. Anyway we considered cancelling our trip Edinburgh because of it, and then (thankfully) didn't have too.

So, my birthday itself was somewhat rubbish, which wasn't a surprise. My family were not really up for it, and niether was I. We were all still very tearful and I had spent the night at home. I had been told university was cancelled and this meant I wouldnt see anyone on my birthday which made me even sadder. Thankfully a few lovely people off my course came into work around lunch time so we sat and had a cake party in the common room which was nice before I had to rush off. I caught the train to Birmingham to meet Matt from work and we headed off to Edinburgh.

The journey was relatively okay. After years of travelling between Aberystwyth and Leicester, travelling to Edinburgh was a piece of cake. A small boy sat with us and provided us with amusement for a lot of the journey. We didn't get to Edinburgh till late on the Friday, so most of my day was spent travelling. Woo. We found the hotel, which wasn't as impressive as what we'd hoped considering what we had had to pay for it. We managed to stay awake for about an hour before falling asleep pretty quickly.

We spent the next two days doing general touristy things. Theres lots to do in Edinburgh and we just didn't have the time to do it all. We went to the camera obscura and optical illusion place on the Saturday morning which was really good, then spent the afternoon wandering around the castle. In the evening we went out for a meal at a lovely place called Browns which had incredibly quick, but very good food. Then we decided to go on our own mini pub crawl round the Royal Mile. We took a ricksaw back to the hotel (which I thought was amazing!) and pretty much passed out drunk in bed. Ah well, a fun evening none the less.

On the Sunday we generally wandering, something pretty easy to do in Edinburgh. We had wanted to see Parliament but hadnt thought abot it being shut on a Sunday so that didn't happen. We went to a random free museum we found - 'The Museum of Childhood.' It was actually really good, with some amusing exhibitions. Then we got some lunch, wandered round some shops for a while stocking up on generic touristy things for our families and ourselves. I found a whittards and Matt brought me lots of tea, it was all very exciting! Then we wandered back to the train station to begin the journey home. The journey back was okay for Matt, who reached Birmingham at 9, but for me, the Leicester train left at 8.59pm so I had to wait another hour for my connection home. I needed to get back since I have obscene amounts of work to do this week and if I had spent the night in Birmingham I would of just been really lazy. So, I got home at around 11.15pm, yay for living close to the train station.

All in all it was a good weekend. I needed to get away and it was nice for a while. Now, sadly its back to work. 

We have no cause of death, after nearly a fortnight. We were supposed to get one today, but something has caused problems. Theres going to be an inquest which will start, and be adjourned tomorrow morning in court. It'll take about 6 weeks, and then there could be more. Were holding out hope that tomorrow we can get a 'temporary death certificate' without a cause of death just so we can hold the funeral. If nothing else we need that.

Anyone have any suggestions of things to do or see in Edinburgh? I've had by birthday saved and will be going away for the weekend!

After the longest week ever I have succeeded in pushing my parents out the door and into the car to go on holiday to Barcelona. This holiday was booked well before the hell that this week became. So, after much coaxing by all the family they have gone still. Theres little that they can do here except listen to family feuds, and wait for a body which it seems the coroners want to keep forever.Its not been the best of weeks, but I'm glad they have gone. However, as now oldest competent immediate relative in the UK, I am doing the smart things and running away to Birmingham for the remainder of the weekend. My extended family infuriate me, and this is the kind of time I need it least. Hopefully my Uncle has arrived, and he will look after everyone. I hope.

University is going reasonably well all things considering. The course is hardcore, compared to any other undergraduate or even postgraduate that I have ever seen. We are in lectures 9.30-5.30, every day pretty much, with an hour or so for lunch. Its hard, and I'm thankful that when we have coursework we get a week off. I went out a few times with people on the course which was nice. We went to a world buffet on Thursday which was surprisingly good fun, and very yummy.

Obviously it became an interesting week after Monday. My poor personal tutor who had known me about five minutes, and my boss who has only known me slightly longer, got a crazy email off me explaining the events of the week. I had kept going into university and had told only a couple of people what had actually happened. Its not really real yet. I don't think it will be until someone can give me an explanation for all this madness.

Well, its the weekend now. We have all survived, though I fear the worst is still to come. I'm off to Birmingham for 48 hours or so, before coming back to continue university and work like normal, in the hope that if I keep pretending, it'll become normal. How do I feel? Honestly. for the last five days, bar a few brief moments, absolutely nothing.

We've had to cancel the funeral because following a post mortem there is no physical reason for my Grandad's death, therefore they are refusing to release the body. They now have to do more tests to rule out a few more sinister things.

The funeral was supposed to be October 12th. Its now booked for the 15th provisionally, the day before my 22nd birthday. Thankfully my family saw enough sense to not put it on my birthday.

Just when you think things can't get any worse, your proved wrong. We all need answers. At the moment we have none. We all thought it was a seizure, apparently not. This next series of tests wont be completed for another week. If theres another delay, the funeral will have to be moved again.

My Grandad just dropped dead.

Literally.

We don't know what happened, but last night we found him dead on the floor. I don't know what to think...

British Gas just posted a bill to my parents house for my name. Confusing since British Gas does not supply my parents house, why would I have any bills there in my name and my current flat has no gas (and the electric is from Southern Electric). Anyway on closer inspection it was a bill for Rocklands, the house I moved out of in May 2008. British Gas were claiming I owed them £25, not much, but money I knew I didn't owe them. After checking my bank statements, nope, I didn't owe them. By this point I was pretty annoyed, we had a lot of drama with British Gas when they lived there. British Gas had also emailled me earlier in the week, but I had ignored the email assuming it was phishing cause of how poorly written it was!

Anyway after sitting on hold to British Gas, I discovered that actually I didnt owe them a penny. The tenants who moved out in June 2009 had not left a forwarding address, so Britsh Gas had sent their unpaid bill to me, the only forwarding address they had. Anyway, obviously they've decided not to charge me (good thing to!!) so hopefully thats the last I'll hear of it.

Well, that wasted my evening as I went back to my parents to sort that out. Woop.

In other news work is going well. The flat is nice. I think I'm catching a cold.